Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My feet surprised me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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