Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
