last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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