If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
