My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
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I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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