Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
