You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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