If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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