He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize