oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize