just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
