After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
