so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
