either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
