mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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