I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize