Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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