He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can't turn off my feet"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
