Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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