if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize