I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize