Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
