yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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