what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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