i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize