Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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