Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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