I faked an abortion last night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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