He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
