I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize