I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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