tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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