SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize