neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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