how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
