yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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