His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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