Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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