No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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