YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize