I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
