i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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