No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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