I wish life had little blips of pornography
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
