Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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