Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Found your dick twin last night
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
