I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need water and some morals
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