It's like God shit irony all over that family
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
