i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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