Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I bet he comes in French.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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