You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
