Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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